


Suddenly, I’m okay.

by Spacebabevomit



Category: Stranger Things - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Multiship, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23907844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacebabevomit/pseuds/Spacebabevomit
Summary: Billy has a panic attack, the gang helps him out.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Carol Perkins, Billy Hargrove/Heather Holloway, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove/Tommy H, Robin Buckley & Billy Hargrove
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Suddenly, I’m okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the keg gang discord!!

Billy usually doesn’t get panicky. Sad? Sure. Angry? Always: but panicked? It very rarely happens. But sometimes the world is an ocean, and he’s stuck in the Mariana Trench breathing the water his trauma forces him too. And it gets too much. It starts first with shortness of breath. He reminds himself that this is temporary. Everything is fine. He’s got the gang, and he’s beautifully in love with them. Steve just took him out for dinner, Carol showed him that sex doesnt have to hurt. Robin got him nice sweatpants, Heather let him do her makeup, Tommy Let billy play his game. He’s fine. He’s fucking fine. But then he gets the smell of beer and all the sudden he’s twelve, huddled in the corner as his dad screams Insults at him. He’s fifteen, when his dad first knocked him good. He’s sixteen, when Anthony cheated on him. Then it’s like he’s in the future. The gang has left. He’s done something to fuck up the only happiness he’s ever had. Steve hates him Again. Carol spits slurs at him when he walks by. Tommy keys his car with Heather, and robin has maliciously spread lies about him. Before he can say STOP his world ends. His past catches up to him and he’s stuck paying the consequences. After all, his dad always said being a shitty son Would catch onto him. Before he knows it, he’s down on the bathroom floor sobbing and screaming. He can’t do Anything but sob and scream as he pulls at his hair and rips at his nails. His teeth are stained red from how hard he’s biting his lips, and his skin is burning from how hot the water has gotten. It’s all too much. They’re going to hate him. Then the really bad thoughts kick in. He’s going to get murdered. He doesnt know why or when, but Theyre going to go after him and kill him. Carol’s soft hands turn hard as they beat him. Steve finally brings that bat out of the closet. Heather dumps the body, Tommy cleans the mess. Robin plans it all. Why would they even kill him? He thought they loved him? He’s trying to get better. He’s going to therapy, taking his medicine. Why was it so bad today? Had he taken his medicine? He could have sworn he did. The bathroom door slams open and there’s a bunch of voices. Then there’s hands on him. He’s going to push them away. They can’t see him like this. He’s letting them down. His next issue is trying to figure out Whos talking when. He can’t hear them. All the panicking has taken his hearing. He feels the shower turning off, he feels a towel wrapped around him. He’s uncontrollably sobbing at this point. He can’t get a breath in and now it’s getting harder and harder to breathe. He feels like he’s choking on his own tears. Why can’t he calm down? Why isn’t he coping like he should? What went so wrong? He’s pulled into somebody’s chest, and when the smell hits him he sobs even harder. The relief that finally floods over him as he smells steve. His Steve. The Steve that forgave him. The Steve that showed him he could be loved. The Steve that brought him in and gave him all he could ever want. Finally he’s getting air into his lungs again, gripping onto Steve tightly as if his life depended on it. He figured it might. The voices are becoming more and more clear. Steve’s reassuring him, asking him to breathe for him. He’s never been able to say no to Steve. So he starts to breathe. The panic that’s been coursing thru his veins starts to finally leave. He can’t open his eyes yet. They’re swollen and red from all his crying. He feels dabbing at his lips. He’d recognize those soft hands anywhere. Carol is wiping the blood, gently cleaning off what she could. When he finally opens his eyes, he can see everybody. They’re not there with weapons or harsh words. They’re there with loving hands and understanding. None of them look angry. He wants to sob all over again at the relief. For now he’ll stick with just crying. He can’t talk. What is he supposed to even say? ‘Sorry I spent the last however long screaming and sobbing and hogging the bathroom.’ It doesnt sit right with him. He’s still naked except for the towel, and Steve hasn’t let go of him yet. Heathers brought him water, and Tommy’s brought his medicine. Apparently he really didn’t take it. Robin is on the phone with who he can guess is his therapist, scheduling another meeting. Everything is okay. Nobody is angry. He holds onto Steve tightly. He doesnt want to let go, not just yet. He needs to be held a little longer. And yeah, maybe it’s selfish. Maybe it’s asking too much. It was one thing to beat Steve’s face in, but a completely scarier thing to ask for comfort. Luckily, Steve had always been extremely good at reading his mind. He doesnt loosen his grip, he doesn’t let him go. He keeps billy in his lap, his fingers dancing across his back in only a language they understand. His breathing is better. He’s not gasping for air anymore. His tears have stopped. Heather pushes the glass of water to his lips and he drinks it, Tommy handing him his medicine to take. He remembered when they first told him he would need medicine. He was hurt. He was angry. Why were they trying to alter him so much? But lately he’d grown a liking to how much better he felt with it. Lately he’d grown a liking to how much love the gang gave him. Lately he’d felt safe. He’d felt comfortable and free. Sure, his thoughts got to him sometimes, but they were always here to help him get back on his feet again. Because they loved him. And he sure as hell loved Them back.


End file.
